I don't feel any less fucked up over this thing than I would have if we'd been lovers and he dumped me. We had so much fun together, good times. And we could talk to each other, and mostly were very comfortable together.

But I'm not going to fall into the temptation of trying to demonise him, or in some other way twist the truth to make it easier to bear. It's just a very sad situation and I just have to get through it.

I've got myself into this situation because of being 'overly' friendly and interested in the people I've been meeting. I like to try to make people feel good about themselves. It's just unfortunate that in our culture, this is automatically interpreted as a come on, and people have strong reactions because they are just not used to it. I guess I have to tone it down a bit, but I don't want to, don't see how I can. I really believe that if we were all more open with each other, we'd all be less fucked up. It's the hiding and the avoiding of pain, rather than going through it, that leads to all the problems, I'm sure of it.