Tuesday 28 April 2009

Birth family still out of reach

I don't know. I didn't manage to save enough to go to Canada and have had to give up on it for now. I am in touch with them all via the internet but somehow we just don't get round to doing any talking, hardly ever. For some reason my ex foster brother is easier to connect with. We at least have some shared memories.

I wish I could do something about this. My daughter is experiencing some of the same emotional difficulties as I did at her age and I suspect there is something genetic in it. I don't know what keeps me from striking up conversations with my mother, my sister and my brothers. I do believe it's because internet is not enough. I want to see what my mother looks like.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hiya Briar..it's Richie from Hay...I found you through your comments on Life In Hay....I was adopted too and found my real mother in 95...a very happy reunion..it wasn't her fault that as a just turned 16 yr old child in 1951 she was forced to give me up for adoption. We speak weekly and she visits often...as do the rest of my..then...lost family....Many adopted folks have asked my advise as to contacting their real family since the meeting and I always say....Do NOT do it unless you are ready for two things.......either rejection or total commitment......My Mum had registered to be found in ...I think...1977 when the law changed to allow us to find them.....after so many years she had given up hope....for me to have arrived back in her life and then have vanished again would have truly broken her heart...I know this is not your case...you are already in contact...I'm just offering this for any other adoptees that read your blog.....I didn't suffer what you appear to have suffered as a child but there are similarities....my adoptive mother saw us as additions to her status..like a new handbag....neither of us could satisfy her..although my adoptive Dad was wonderful she was a nightmare..its probably the reason I left home the day after my 15th birthday and found myself on the streets for the next 3 years....I still, at the age of 57 have a very real fear of rejection....anyway enough...Good blog site Briar....hope you keep enjoying it :-))